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Anti-Feminist Beliefs & Criticism

By Suzanne MacNevin - January 2008.

There is a growing plethora of anti-feminist websites out there and there is noticable trends amongst the topics discussed amongst such websites.

One of the leading criticisms is that feminists are out to get pregnant and get alimony/child support payments from their deadbeat dads/husbands.

Which leads me to one conclusion: The primary driving force behind such websites are "Deadbeat Dads" who sometimes write under the guise of a female name. The websites typically include statements like the following:

"Women will use sex and pregnancy to snare a man's wallet."

"Marriage is a trap designed to enslave men."

"Divorced women take their ex-husbands for every penny."

"Women make men pay child alimony for children they didn't even father."

"Feminists use divorce to take away a man's children and his money."

"Women falsely accuse men of cheating and then take their bank accounts."

"Bachelorism is the only way to fight feminism."

You get the general idea. Basically these are men who are complaining about spousal/child support and divorce settlements. The last statement about bachelorism is essential to the "anti-feminist philosophy" that all women are money-grubbers and that you mustn't commit to a relationship because she will wipe out your bank account.

Perhaps for some men this might be good advice.

Seriously. If the men in question actually believe these kind of bullshit statements there isn't a lot we women can do to change their minds. They have essentially become brainwashed by the philosophy of bachelorism and thus can't commit to a relationship (and likewise would probably make horrible parents and adulterous husbands).

So why bother trying to change their opinion? Well, one can hope, but if they aren't smart enough to figure out the flawed logic of bachelorism they are much more likely to be proponents of it than possible converts to equality.

After all bachelorism does offer a lot of tantalizing prospects for men:

  • No need to commit to a relationship.
  • No need to marry.
  • He can sleep with many different women.
  • He can have group sex.
  • He doesn't have to worry about raising children.
  • He doesn't have to worry about financially supporting children and/or wife.
  • More free time due to complete lack of family responsibilities.
  • Able to travel more with less responsibilities.
  • Able to live the wild lifestyle of a bachelor.

    Theoretically he also gains more financial security and less stress, although the reverse can be easily argued if the woman also works and children provide a source of happiness and stress relief.

    There are after all a fair number of men out there who due to their personal beliefs do not make ideal husbands or fathers. Infidelity and cheating being a regular occurrence, plus some men may simply may not be cut out to handle to the trials and tribulations of raising a family.

    I would argue therefore that these "below par" men simply aren't ready (and may never be ready) to commit to either the faithfulness or the responsibilities required of marriage and children.

    But with time that can change. As men get older they will undoubtably notice the loneliness and feel like they are missing out on something. They won't be able to party like they once did and will be lonely on Christmas and Valentines. Presumably time will eventually mellow these men out, hopefully within time for them to still raise a meaningful family.

    Sadly one of the fundamental beliefs of bachelorism is that women are to blame for divorce.

    I disagree.

    I think both sexes are to blame for the bad choices that led to their marriage in the first place. People rush into marriage way too easily. It is much wiser in my opinion to give the relationship time and then when they are more certain of their compatibility and ability to commit then they should consider marriage.

    Some of the primary causes of divorce is sexual unhappiness, infidelity, money, stress and lack of trust/communication. Those problems lead to the breakdown of the marriage and either sex can be to blame.

    Money is an important part of this. Men can be rather sensitive about money and paying spousal/child support to these men seems wildly unfair. Why should they have to pay for children they themselves didn't give birth to?

    Because they still made the choice to have sex and make a child.

    That seemingly small and insignificant act is nevertheless the life giving act of creation and gives the woman two choices: Abortion or a lifetime commitment to raise a child, including all of its financial burdens.

    If the couple in question is married it is already presumed that their marriage includes the goal of making babies and having children. The male is automatically financially responsible for the welfare of the child (and therefore also to the mother who may have to quit work or cutback her workload in order to properly take care of the child).

    If they are not married the legal matter varies from country to country, but the laws usually expect the male to assume some part of the financial burden.

    Is it fair for men to be forced to assume financial responsibility for their "wild oats"? Absolutely. Men don't take this matter seriously enough. They think they can sleep with whomever they want without any consequences but in this world of STDs, HIV/AIDS and pregnancy that is simply not true.

    I'm not one to point to the Bible as a source of wisdom, but there is a reason why adultery and sex before marriage is frowned upon.

    In ancient times if a young woman lost her virginity before marriage (or if her husband abandons her and runs off) she would end up impoverishing her parents with an extra mouth to feed. If the family was farmers they might not mind so much so long as food is plentiful and they need an extra person to help with the work. But if not that "bastard baby" could cause financial and social problems.

    The same is true today.

    We look up to women who manage to make it on their own, but it is a difficult task and well-nigh impossible without the aid of family, friends, husband and/or government support.

    Why should the government (and thus taxpayers) be forced to support the mother and child when it was partially the fault of the father who sired the child?

    How fair is that for society to end up paying for one man's sexual urges and inability to stop spreading his seed around?

    And if society or the deadbeat father doesn't pay up what is the social effect of having hundreds or thousands of women impoverished and struggling to feed and clothe these children?

    No, I am sorry dear bachelors. You need to own up to your responsibilities and stop blaming feminists for what is primarily a societal matter and only a feminist matter due to context of divorce and motherhood.

    Without child and spousal support a good portion of our economy would be suffering under the weight of sexual and economic repression. In turn our society would also feel a huge limit on sexual freedom.

    Men should think twice about their sexual freedom and how they take it for granted. Don't abuse it. Wear a condom if you're not ready to have a child.

    And don't blame feminism if your relationship or marriage goes sour. You made your decisions and you have to live with the consequences. Blaming women and being a deadbeat dad isn't going to help anything but your own sense of selfishness.

    Note about Non-Western Cultures

    There seems to be a belief amongst bachelors that Asian women are preferable because they aren't all uppity and full of ideas of equality

    This is actually a false assumption. In South Korea for example marriage is very big business and all women are expected to get married before the age of 30 (and thus have a tendency to rush into marriages that are unwise). South Korea now has a skyrocketing divorce rate due to rushed marriages.

    It doesn't mean that Eastern women believe in equality any less than Western women. They simply have different beliefs about the timeliness of courtship, dating and marriage. Don't expect a man to instantly find a woman who will wash his laundry, make his food and raise his kids without expecting him to share in the responsibilities. There will likely also be some culture shock when such males discover that these women still have a sense of fairness and equality.

    It is naive (and arguably racist) for any man to assume that just because the woman is Asian that somehow she doesn't think about the consequences of having a sexual relationship. White men seem to think that Asian women are sluts or easy just because we don't hear that much about Asian feminism in North America (Asian Feminism does exist and statistically speaking a lot of the Feminist eZine's visitors come from Asian countries).

  • Other Arguments Against Feminism:

    The following is a list of statements found on websites that support anti-feminism (or as we call it "bachelorism"). Some of them are even funny when you consider the false logic it must go into making such ridiculous claims.

    "Violent Women who abuse their husbands and/or children."

    "Female violence towards men is swept under the carpet and ignored."

    "Women are more violent than men."

    "Feminism promotes hostility towards men."

    "Feminism and divorces ruin families and causes children to become psychopaths."

    "Women cheat more than men."

    "Educated women are dangerous and more likely to want a divorce."

    "Feminism is an excuse for women to seek divorce."

    "If feminists ruled the world we would still have wars and violence."

    "Powerful women lean towards satanism and BDSM."

    "Powerful women are more likely to go on a male killing spree."

    "Most child abusers are women."

    "Feminists are liars and use false statistics."

    "Feminazis just want to kill men and take their money."

    "Feminism is just as bad as communism."

    "Feminists are worse than NAZIs."

    "Feminism is a cult that seeks destroy the sanctity of marriage."

    "Female teachers rape children."

    "95% of women cheat on their husbands."

    "31% of women would not warn their husbands if they had a STD."

    Anti-Feminist Propaganda Images

    There is also a wide assortment of anti-feminist images meant to poke fun at feminism or just plain point out the different arguments within the battle of the sexes.

    The propaganda varies in topic, ranging from Hillary bashing to comparing feminism to communism or Nazism, that women are greedy/abusive/violent, that feminists are amazons/lesbians, that women shouldn't work in offices, that feminists hate men, that feminism is female supremacy and sometimes just plain sexist takes on women carrying objects or doing yardwork (#31 for example shows a woman mowing the lawn in a bikini with the caption "What Men Really Want!").

    The point of this small collection is to demonstrate how these bachelors have organized themselves as one-man-armies seeking to discredit the women's movement through a combination of humour and sexism.

    However I believe this propaganda fails to convince because it uses inherently flawed logic, useless rhetoric/slogans and the blatant sexism is its downfall.

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